the internet was down yesterday. so I could not write here.
I did not have internet for 18 hours from early morning to evening.
I checked the internet maybe 50 times.
I thought to myself maybe there is a problem with my system's software/hardware.
but suddenly the internet was connected. I became glad.
I don't know what to do with my online tasks when I do not have access to the internet.
the day before yesterday A strange thing happened in the alley.
a child under the age of 10 detonated several crackers. a few second later he broke a break. he threw a piece of it into a house and threw the other big piece into a child. the break hit the child. he fell to the ground an could not move for a while.
an old woman saw the seen and got angry....
the child said it has nothing to you.
I think we should be more strict with this kind of children.
I've already sent and English email to somebody so I needn't to write in English as long as usual.
I was watching a video on YouTube. the subject of video was "when fans meet celebrities" or something like that.
when I was watching I just thinking how important is public opinion? why they cry?
how anyone can be a fan of someone like Justin Bieber? he is not Democritus! who the hell is this guy?
if people can love somebody like him
and if people can do not love Democritus(or any rational and moral man) does it matter how this people think about me or about anything?
isn't this world a fucking joke?
I think the ancient Greek people were definitely right. people...every human being is a hybrid. they and a hybrid of devil and an angel.
or maybe I'm alone because of this thoughts. I don't know. sometimes I need Attention and relationship or at least someone to talk...
like Schopenhauer.
I have overslept tonight.
I'm kind of a hard-working person. so when I sleep too much I feel guilty.
now I don't know how I will be able to finish my daily tasks. there is no enough time.
I wanted to finish my resume tonight.
there is too much work. I don't know what to do.
I'm working on my resume. I must send it to a University. I hope to be accepted.
there is a fly in my room since yesterday. I will catch it but I have not succeeded so far.
I hate flies and mosquitoes. I remember every time when a fly or a mosquito entered in my room I could not sleep until I caught it.
I hate them. I think Mosquitoes transmit AIDS.
anyway I had a long sleep tonight even though there was a fly.
in the real world I'm taciturn. not speaking a lot. sometimes I do not speak for several months.
people do not understand me. some people think maybe I am mad at them or sth. some other people may think that I am an arrogant guy.
but this actually is not right. I'm more seems to be humble than arrogant.
anyway it's always been hard for me to talk and communicate to people. I may never be a social person.
I like people but only when they are at least 3 meters away from me.
when I was a young kid my father called me "sullen". actually that's not completely right. I remember when I was at journalism academy I was a kind guy. also when I was in martial arts club I was very kind....
so it depends more on other people and who they are? if I think they are rational and moral people or at least polite it's easy for me to communicate but if they are not I would be Mr.Sullen again.
I think it's enough for today. I think my English is getting better and better. it's good.
I live alone in a room in a corner of a small city.
sometimes I do not talk to anyone for several months.
when I was in telegram I had few contacts in my contact list which I blocked them all.
there was nobody to talk and communication.
sometimes I think maybe it would be better if I had a pet...like Schopenhauer had.
he had a dog. Voltaire also had a dog.
if I remember rightly Henry David Thoreau lived in jungle and nature for two years.
after that when he came back to New York he said: when I was between animals in nature, I had not seen any savage beast(wild animal) but when I came back to New York I can see that. there are many wild animal here. I feel good just when I live in nature. I feel well just when I'm between animals; not humans.
I do not think that people are simply bad...but I do not feel well when I talk to people.
maybe I'm like Jean-Jacques Rousseau.