I remember when I was almost 13 years old there was a boy in our classroom named Shirzad. he used to sing this sentence for fun: "I go to school every day...dabroooday" he had a good voice. but as he grew up his voice changed.
I'm disappointed. I was hoping the Corona virus problem would be finished this winter.
I'm worried. because of my family.
it's maybe good to be a fool.
to be worry just for your family. if human kind was so rational to understand this concept that his family is really equal to strangers I think they were going crazy.
my whole family got Corona several times.
the situation of our country and our people is too bad. I don't know what will happen to us until next year.
I don't know what to say. every time I go to bakery or something I encounter irrational people. they do not take Corona seriously and spread the disease.
oh... yes... I hate writing here but lets not nag.
it's been for weeks since I started Whim's course. but still I feel cold. I think it is natural to feel that but the cold course may help people to have a longer threshold for pain. I mean you can feel the cold, but after a few seconds it will almost disappears and you feel less like severe pain or cold because you are used to it.
yesterday I was not so good at retaining the breath. I hardly managed to retain my breath for 3 minutes. its good. not bad at all but the other day I was able to retain that for 3 minutes and 20 seconds and after a few days of practicing I expected to get better.
it's Saturday and from today I can start the fifth week of training program. I'm excited.
but I'm somehow frustrated because my mind is confused and sick and I'm even getting worse at meditation.
I love pop-corn. but unfortunately this also become expensive. I live in this ridiculous economic situation.
yesterday I've learned to play four piece of music.
it's been a few days since last time I've updated this weblog.
as I said before I do not like to write here.
last night I took a cold shower; two times and each time for one minute.
After that, I've put my hands and feet in ice water for two minutes. I did that because I have cold hands and feet.
then I've slept for almost one or two hours and after that I have started downloading.
I think I have an obsession for downloading.
as I type, the sun shines thorough the window on my hands...and it feel great.
my room is getting dirty and dirty everyday. I have to do something. I do not have a vacuum cleaner or even a broom
I must solve this problem. otherwise I maybe get sick or …
it's 10 O'clock and I have not finished my yesterdays daily task. I still have time until 11 O'clock.
my family do not let me be alone. even though I rented a house and I live alone now, they sent me foodstuff.
for example last night they sent me some cheese and walnuts.
I'm not a social person. I don't want to take a taxi. because I don't want to talk to talk driver. sometimes they talk to me even though I don't want to. they are sometimes talkative but I'm not.
also I have to walk because of corona virus. and of course because of corona virus.
I remember last time I almost had to carry 30 kg for 5 km. because I live in a distance of 5 km to my family.
that was actually fanny. people looked at me with curiosity. a woman was laughing t me.
she was right. people should laugh at me. my life is a joke.
so ha ha ha.
another joke:
I do not speak to my family.
ha ha ha
as I said, my life is nothing but a bitter joke.
I'd better laugh at myself too.
I had never had a friend in my life.
I have been alone all my life.
I'm a joke.
my life is a joke.
so laugh.
be a Joker
I hate writing here. I never know what to say.
I want to get a scholarship and be accepted in the field of social studies.
I love anthropology, economic, geography, sociology and political science and if I would be accepted in social studies I can study all of them. that would be the best opportunity.
I had many misfortunes in my life so far. it would be fair if I get a chance.
election have taken place in the USA and and there is a risk of violence between supporters of the two parties. will American society fall apart?
I'm sad and angry because of Corona virus. why still there is not any medicine or vaccine for this virus.
why Israel government lied about that. last year they claimed we almost have made the medicine for this virus but all of this claims was just lying.
I'm getting older and older. I lost this year because of this fucking virus and every fucking year...there is a reason always to not be happy.